So, I connected the new battery to the Mac Portable with alligator clips, and tried to power it up. The power switch does nothing. I'm not really clear on how that power switch is supposed to work, anyway. So, I hold down the two "programmer's buttons" and then press the space bar. The screen comes to life, but I get nothing but a crazy flashing screen seemingly designed to provoke epileptic attacks. See the movie:
I'm not sure what I should do now, except go on The Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show and try to win a Steve Wozniak action figure.